Science of Happiness
Session 7
Relationships and
Happiness
We talk about Peak experiences, meaning, rules of happiness
in these sessions.
The ultimate ingredient of positivity, as identified by
Barbara Fredrikson is
-
Love
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Awe,
inspiration, hope, interest, amusement, pride, gratitude, joy and serenity
Research involving the happiest people has proved that what
they have in common is
-
Strong
social support
-
Excellent
relationships with family and friends
At the other extreme, there is a Clear and Present Danger
for the isolated
-
isolation
is twice as dangerous as smoking
Divorced men and women live shorter lives when compared with
those who are married.
Nevertheless, the couples that experience marital problems
on a regular basis, involving serious clashes experience the trauma equivalent
to a car crash every day.
-
Divorce
leads to shorter life in general
-
But
marriages in really serious trouble =
-
A car
crash every day
Harvard Professor Tal Ben Shahar mentions in his lectures
some of the issues concerning relationships.
-
we do not
present our real self to potential partners
-
The image
we project is as close as possible to a desirable knight in shining armor
-
But the
result is potentially disastrous
The most appreciated expert on marriage, relationships is
John Gottman.
He has an astonishing accuracy rate of 93.6 in his predictions.
-
John
Gottman, 93.6%
-
The 7
Principles of Making Marriage Work
John Gottman emphasizes, like Tal Ben Shahar, the need to
know the partner in detail.
Without the mask that we so regularly hang on, in order to
hide defects and enlarge qualities.
-
The
Honeymoon effect
-
Two years
After two years, one can be married to Angelina Jolie and
prefer someone who has the advantage, benefit of novelty.
-
Thomas
Mann on love, friendship
We have to be cautious and yet enjoy love
-
my love is
as a fever longing still...
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My reason,
the physician to my love has left me
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Past cure
I am, now reason is past care...
Shakespeare
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