Session 16

The Science of Happiness, Session 16

The Liking Principle and Happiness

-          “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so – Hamlet

-          The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven”

Liking could be a relative thing, but once that happens it has serious implications as explained by Robert Cialdini

-          Influence by Robert Cialdini

-          Liking has a strong Influence

-          The lost wallet test, with the note inside

-          Two groups of boys in competition with each other

-          Broken minibus

-          Film availability problem

A common challenge can unite people from different groups, backgrounds, cultures, but if they are just thrown in together, it does not work

-          Just including various backgrounds in schools did not eliminate the tendency to stick to one’s own group

-          A task that challenges all can do it

-          Some studies can cause worry

-          Accepting refugees, immigrants is not always easy

-          Therefore the rise of extreme parties and ideologies…

There are five factors that we contemplate when looking at Liking:

1.       Physical attractiveness – Good looks suggest other favorable traits, i.e. honesty, humor, trustworthiness

-          Studies have shown that what is generally associated with good looks –a nose that does not come from Cyrano de Bergerac, symmetry- can be also associated with a more amenable, gentler personality

2.       Similarity – We like people similar to us in terms of interests, opinions, personality, background, etc.

3.       Compliments – We love to receive praises, and tend to like those who give it.

-          Remember how to Win Friends and Influence People?

4.       Contact and Cooperation – We feel a sense of commonality when working with others to fulfil a common goal.

-          The challenge for the boys moving the minibus

5.       Conditioning and Association – We like looking at models, and thus become more favorable towards the cars behind them.

-          In various studies, participants have been told to ask for contributions for various causes

-          When the potential contributor and the person asking were dressed in the same manner, the sums donated were considerably higher than in situations where one was wearing hippy style clothes and the other conventional attire

Furthermore

-          Robert Cialdini gives the example of his own son and the swimming practice

-          Verified by research that shows that children adapt a new skill, acquire new abilities better and faster when they have a peer that is doing the task

-          When the child is a few years older, it does not work

-          We like people similar to us

-          This is also visible in the news, channels that people watch and that are used to more or less confirm the views they already have

Another example:

-          Beautiful women are hired to come with a survey

-          Do you dine in the city? Go to the opera? Drink expensive wines?

-          The answer from men answering these questions is mostly –yes

-          This means you will benefit from our program and will save $ 1,500 per year by joining

-          The principle of Liking and Consistency are here at play

There is a very suggestive pic that we might use here:

https://www.referralcandy.com/blog/liking-principle/