Optimism can be learned. Neuroscientists have been working on it. Here are some ways:

From The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky -professor at the University of California http://sonjalyubomirsky.com/

Part II, Happiness Activities: Practicing Gratitude and Positive Thinking

 

“It is a truism that how you think about yourself, your world and other people is more important for your happiness than the circumstances of your life. The mind is its own place of itself and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell or Hell out of Heaven- John Stuart Mill.

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so…”- Hamlet

 

Happiness Activity Number One- Expressing Gratitude

Gratitude is many things: wonder, appreciation, savoring, present orientated, looking at the bright side.

 People who are grateful   have been found to be relatively happier, more energetic and more hopeful and to report more frequent positive emotions. They also tend to be more helpful, more empathetic more spiritual, more forgiving and less materialistic than others. The more a person is inclined towards gratitude the less likely she or he is inclined to be depressed, lonely, anxious, angry or neurotic.

Several experiments have been made: one group of participants has been asked to write five things for which they were grateful, once a week, for ten weeks. People in control groups were asked to think of 5 daily hassles or 5 major events. Relative to the control groups, those in the gratitude group tended to feel more optimistic, more satisfied with their lives, even their health received a boost- they reported fewer physical symptoms such as headache, nausea and more time spent exercising. Adults with chronic diseases have shown similar results. These studies show that individuals who express gratitude experience more positive attitudes and are more likely to feel connected with others, tend to catch more hours of quality sleep. The experiments show causal links between expressions of gratitude and mental and physical rewards.

In an experiment conducted by professor Lyubomirsky’s team, they have measured the happiness level, and then they implemented their gratitude intervention and when it was over, measured the happiness levels again. The gratitude intervention was similar to the one showed above: the participants were directed to keep a gratitude journal, to write down and contemplate 5 things for which they were grateful. The participants engaged in this happiness activity over the course of six weeks, half doing it once a week, every Sunday night and half three times a week. They covered a wide range: mom, healthy body, instant messenger. The participants became happier, compared with a control group of people who took no gratitude exercise: the gratitude group reported significant increases in their happiness levels from before to after the intervention.

 

You will be happier if you cultivate an attitude of Gratitude. How and Why? There are eight reasons to practice it:

1.       Grateful Thinking promotes a savoring of Positive life experiences by relishing and taking part in some of the gifts of your life you’ll be able to extract the maximum possible satisfaction and enjoyment from your circumstances.

2.       Expressing gratitude bolsters self-worth and self-esteem- when you realize how much people have done for you or how much you accomplished you feel more confident and efficacious.

3.       Gratitude helps people cope with stress and trauma- expressing gratefulness during personal adversity, a loss, chronic illness, hard as it may be, helps adjust and perhaps begin anew

4.       The expression of gratitude urges moral behavior- grateful people are more likely to help others and less likely to be materialistic: an Auschwitz survivor was described: his life was rooted in gratitude, he was generous because the memory of having nothing was never far from his mind

5.       Gratitude can help build social bonds, strengthening existing social relationships and nurturing new ones; keeping a gratitude journal can produce feelings of being connected with others. Several studies have shown that people who feel gratitude towards others, even when they never express it, experience closer and higher quality relationships with them. When you become fully aware of the value of friends and family members you are likely to treat them better, perhaps producing an upwards spiral in which strong relationships give you something to be grateful for and in turn fortifying these same relationships.

6.       Expressing gratitude tends to inhibit invidious comparison with others- if you were genuinely thankful and appreciative for what you have you are less likely to pay close attention to or envy what the Joneses have.

7.       The practice of gratitude is incompatible with negative emotions and may actually diminish or deter such feelings like anger, bitterness and greed. It is hard to feel guilty, resentful or infuriated when you feel grateful

8.       Gratitude helps us thwart hedonic adaptation- the hedonic adaptation is the remarkable capacity to adjust rapidly to any new circumstances or events, so if you gain something good in your life, a romantic partner, recovery from chronic illness, brand new car there is an immediate boost in your happiness level; unfortunately that boost is short lived. By preventing people from taking the good things in their life for granted, the practice of gratitude can directly counteract the effects of hedonic adaptation.

How you do it is up to you, but some suggestions will be added from this same magical book