17

Session 17

Get Perfect Work- Life Balance

·         In order to get a perfect Work- Life Balance you need first of all to

·         assess the time you spend doing various activities

·         Activity pie chart

·         There are two charts here because this is very important

·         And there are quite a few ways to look at this- in more detail

·         On weekly, monthly basis

·         It also helps to recognize what You like to do

·         What you enjoy

·         Then you put down the various occupations and the amount of time

·         You list for each if you want to spend more time doing it +

·         Or if you want considerable more time allocated ++

·         There would be things you want to spend less time with -, or even much less

·         This is one first step towards a balanced Work –Life Experience

·         Throughout these sessions I insist on Calling

·         Without getting into the details here and now

·         I will just say that being Engaged with your Calling which you have made your job

·         Brings a perfect Work –Life balance as you have been, are and will be doing

·         what you like at…work, which thus becomes the place

·         Where you are involved with your passion and hobbies…

·         Flow- once you obtain Optimal Experiences at

·         Work and with family and friends, you have the recipe for Bliss:

·         In mundane activities like brushing teeth by adding conditions of Flow

·         You can obtain happiness and balance

·         Remember Social support is what matters most, the happiest men and women

·         Have this in common and not an incredible wealth

·         Avoid the Hedonic treadmill

·         And think in terms of Eudaimonia and Hedonia which means

·         Short Term and Long Term happiness

1.            “Goals are clear

2.            Feedback is immediate

3.            A balance between opportunity and capacity

4.            Concentration deepens

5.            The present is what matters

6.            Control is no problem

7.            Sense of time is altered

8.            The loss of ego

·         Our lives have an imbalance

·         Yours too, otherwise you will not be listening to this

·         Because we are in a hurry, stressed and pushed to the limit by outside pressures

·         To meet deadlines- which positive psychologists have started calling lifelines

·         We need to slow down, enjoy the present more and stop worrying about the future

·         There is a happiness exercise called Imagining the Best Possible Self

·         Testing this has proved that it works

·         And the alternative of Imagining the Best Possible Future

·         Hamburger models have been proposed by Harvard Professor Shahar

·         They classify very well the different groups of people and their tendencies

·         You can see where you are and use the rules of happiness to change the model

·         If you are not in the category of those who enjoy

·         Both the present and the future!!

·         To summarize: it helps when you are Engaged with and in the Present

·         That offers conditions for Being in the Zone, obtaining Optimal Experiences

·         Use your identified calling to do in the Present and in the Future

·         What you like, are good at and has meaning for You

·         Avoid getting trapped in the rat race, which means a continual effort to obtain

·         Material things that contribute little, for a very short time to well being

·         Spend time and money for experiences and with your family and friends

·         Use the happiness rules that we explain in detail in other sessions to

·         Obtain bliss at work and in your life- the two aspects have impact on each other

·         To end with humor, which is a condition sine qua non for a happy life

·         This man opens the proverbial bottle and the genie escapes:

·         You have three wishes:

·         First, I want to live in America/California-one myth of happiness

·         He is there and now wants money, mansion with pool…

·         The genie provides, but the last wish is…

·         Now I don’t want to work a day in my life again…

·         And he was back where he started…

·         For our purpose here, I will just conclude that

·         he did not have a proper balance and therefore

·         he could not get anywhere,

·         even with money and having moved on the Pacific coast