15

Session 15

Become More Confident

·         to become more confident you need

·         Self Esteem and i also think humor…often of the self deprecating type

·         Also- Learn to Fail, or Fail to Learn

·         The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden

·         Nathaniel Branden wrote some classic psychology book

·         One of them is The Psychology of Self- Esteem.

·         He was a friend, disciple and lover of Ayn Rand,

·         Aurthor of The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged

·         Ayn Rand was very keen on the individual and not the crushing crowd or society

·         Nathaniel Branden is also the writer of The Psychological Effects of Religion

·         We will get into this book in more detail

·         we need to have confidence, trust our own abilities-

·         this affects all aspects:

·         achievements, or lack thereof,

·         our relationships with spouses, children and others.

·         People with high self-esteem are rational, have creativity, benevolence.

·         Those with low self-esteem manifest rigidity, defensiveness, fear and

·         even hostility towards other people.

·         If we do not appreciate ourselves, whom do we appreciate? Nobody.

·         People with low self –esteem communicate poorly.

·         Signs of high self-esteem are:

·         eyes are alert,

·         posture is Relaxed,

·         body is erect,

·         walk purposeful,

·         the voice is clear, modulating.

-          think of role models and at times appreciate where the anti-hero is J

·         The key in appearance is:

·         Relaxation, when you have self-esteem you’re not hiding, not at war with who you are,

·         which is characteristic for people with low self-esteem.

·         When we have low self-esteem we are in fear of exposure, humiliation, failure

·         The six principles are:

1)            practice of living consciously

Every moment that we live unconsciously is a wasted moment. Are you paying attention to your perceptions of the world? 

2)            practice of self-acceptance- here a “funny’ exercise is recommended: watch and accept yourself naked in a mirror 

3)            practice of self-responsibility

4)            practice of self-assertiveness

5)            practice of living purposefully

6)            practice of personal integrity

 

-              “what determines the level of self-esteem is what the individual does”

-          the mantra: we are what we repeatedly do

-          Excellence is not an act but a habit!

-          Other ways to reach self esteem aka confidence

-          Plan ahead:

-          Use humor, even self deprecating humor

-          And a trainer

-          Do not seek entitlement, Nirvana might be better

-              If by Kipling

-              There are a few ways to look at it

-              Comedian insists we should get help

-              if all around show signs of agitation and we don’t ...

-              Something or everything could be wrong

-              The principle of conformity

„There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”

·         Mind you

·         Perfectionism vs satisfizing

·         Do not be a Maximizer but a Satisficer

·         Avoid the posture of this CEO

Use motivational lines:

-          Now is the winter of our discontent

-          To end with a joke

-          If you really want to be Absolutely confident

-          Then use the Kantian Principle of the

-          Categorical Imperative