16

Session 16

Positive Attitude

·         A Positive Attitude is the key to Success

·         Happiness, a longer, healthier life

·         For you and family and friends

·         We influence up to 1,000 people

·         This is the image of someone positive and therefore successful

·         We propose a new term:

·         RECREATE

·         Rituals, Engagement, Calling, Rules of Happiness, Enjoy,

·         Amusement, Time Balance, Equanimity

·         I will get into the research that proves the importance of Positivity

·         And means, rules of getting there

·         Let me first mention the ultimate expert on Positivity

·         Professor Barbara Fredrickson, author of the landmark

·         Positivity

·         This is the classic where she offers one formula of positivity:

·         3:1

·         And the ingredients: awe, interest, amusement, inspiration

·         Hope, pride, joy, serenity, gratitude and most important of all

·         Love!

·         Positive people see better

·         Literally- studies show that they have a better, wider outlook

·         On the other hand- we are here to give you the truth, not some magic voodoo

·         Negative men and women are better at seeing details, this is why they make

·         Better policemen- or at least investigative detectives- traffic controllers, lawyers

·         The latter is the profession with highest rates of suicide, divorce and depression

·         We have a session called the Upside of Your Downside…

·         Own example

·         Communism tyranny-equals negativity, mistrust

·         I had on top of that to try various studies and occupations

·         Guide, journalist assistant during…a Revolution

·         Documents are provided, if you are interested to see more about this

·         Suffice to say that I graduated as a Geophysicist, but due to circumstances never worked

·         In that domain, but went through all possible options

·         To arrive at positivity!! Which is what keeps me going here, now!!

·         Pic of Newsweek

 

·         How to have a Positive Attitude?

·         Imagine the best possible future

·         Do not compare yourself with others

·         And if you really think you must, think of those who have so little

·         They fight the war in Syria; suffer at the hands of the regime in North Korea…

·         Be an optimist in order to be positive

·         Enjoy the moment, the present

·         Proverbial smell the roses and for Flow, let us limit to three key conditions here

1.    “Goals are clear

2.    Feedback is immediate

3.    A balance between opportunity and capacity

·         One of the most extraordinary studies involves

·         The Nuns of the Notre Dame

·         The conclusion was being positive can add up to

·         10 years!

·         To life expectancy

·         More ways to become ever more positive:

·         Identify and use your Signature strengths

·         Meditate

·         Be mindful of the extensive research that demonstrates

·         Positive attitude benefits

·         Positive sales people sell much more than the negative ones

·         And this is just one of a multitude of examples

·         For in general, positive people are better in almost all areas of life

·         Reality Distortion Field

·         Late Steve Jobs, Duris have had or have that

·         Use positivity to gain the same field

·         In Japan, the positivity expressed by Ikigai leads to

·         A longer life- another proof:

·         The inhabitants of Okinawa

·         Briefly the elements of our mantra, underlined again:

·         Rituals, Engagement, Calling, Rules of Happiness, Enjoy, Amusement, Time Balance, Equanimity

·         RECREATE

·         With these elements you can Recreate your wellbeing

17

Session 17

Get Perfect Work- Life Balance

·         In order to get a perfect Work- Life Balance you need first of all to

·         assess the time you spend doing various activities

·         Activity pie chart

·         There are two charts here because this is very important

·         And there are quite a few ways to look at this- in more detail

·         On weekly, monthly basis

·         It also helps to recognize what You like to do

·         What you enjoy

·         Then you put down the various occupations and the amount of time

·         You list for each if you want to spend more time doing it +

·         Or if you want considerable more time allocated ++

·         There would be things you want to spend less time with -, or even much less

·         This is one first step towards a balanced Work –Life Experience

·         Throughout these sessions I insist on Calling

·         Without getting into the details here and now

·         I will just say that being Engaged with your Calling which you have made your job

·         Brings a perfect Work –Life balance as you have been, are and will be doing

·         what you like at…work, which thus becomes the place

·         Where you are involved with your passion and hobbies…

·         Flow- once you obtain Optimal Experiences at

·         Work and with family and friends, you have the recipe for Bliss:

·         In mundane activities like brushing teeth by adding conditions of Flow

·         You can obtain happiness and balance

·         Remember Social support is what matters most, the happiest men and women

·         Have this in common and not an incredible wealth

·         Avoid the Hedonic treadmill

·         And think in terms of Eudaimonia and Hedonia which means

·         Short Term and Long Term happiness

1.            “Goals are clear

2.            Feedback is immediate

3.            A balance between opportunity and capacity

4.            Concentration deepens

5.            The present is what matters

6.            Control is no problem

7.            Sense of time is altered

8.            The loss of ego

·         Our lives have an imbalance

·         Yours too, otherwise you will not be listening to this

·         Because we are in a hurry, stressed and pushed to the limit by outside pressures

·         To meet deadlines- which positive psychologists have started calling lifelines

·         We need to slow down, enjoy the present more and stop worrying about the future

·         There is a happiness exercise called Imagining the Best Possible Self

·         Testing this has proved that it works

·         And the alternative of Imagining the Best Possible Future

·         Hamburger models have been proposed by Harvard Professor Shahar

·         They classify very well the different groups of people and their tendencies

·         You can see where you are and use the rules of happiness to change the model

·         If you are not in the category of those who enjoy

·         Both the present and the future!!

·         To summarize: it helps when you are Engaged with and in the Present

·         That offers conditions for Being in the Zone, obtaining Optimal Experiences

·         Use your identified calling to do in the Present and in the Future

·         What you like, are good at and has meaning for You

·         Avoid getting trapped in the rat race, which means a continual effort to obtain

·         Material things that contribute little, for a very short time to well being

·         Spend time and money for experiences and with your family and friends

·         Use the happiness rules that we explain in detail in other sessions to

·         Obtain bliss at work and in your life- the two aspects have impact on each other

·         To end with humor, which is a condition sine qua non for a happy life

·         This man opens the proverbial bottle and the genie escapes:

·         You have three wishes:

·         First, I want to live in America/California-one myth of happiness

·         He is there and now wants money, mansion with pool…

·         The genie provides, but the last wish is…

·         Now I don’t want to work a day in my life again…

·         And he was back where he started…

·         For our purpose here, I will just conclude that

·         he did not have a proper balance and therefore

·         he could not get anywhere,

·         even with money and having moved on the Pacific coast